See Your Gold Hidden Within Darkness

I have awakened, no longer do I find myself in a slumber. I will never again disappear and hide in the darkness. I fight to stay enlightened and conscious. When I look at the world I see so much potential for us to change for the better. I believe in our ability to transform and expand our consciousness. We do not exist without each other. We live side by side, affect each other with good, with bad, and sometimes evil. You exist only because of another. We form the world, this is the power we have, please think about who you are and who you wish to be in this one life. Everyone needs a place in someone's heart, we need to belong. To truly know that someone has your back and will fight with you through the valley of darkness. We need to actually own our life, to have a voice that is heard, to hold ourselves responsible and others accountable for actions. We have such purpose, filled with abilities we have learned, and talents we are born with. We can live a life that deeply matters and it can be truly valuable, if we can be bold and brave, and share our gifts with one another, to make life richer.

I write and talk about darkness because this is a matter I wished and still wish someone really talked about in an honest and personal way. These are issues I have struggled my way through and some are things I still struggle with. I grew up in the 1990’s and 2000’s. This was not the time of truth, and I guess still not today, at least from my perspective. But what the heck, I could care less. It is time to be bold! I grew up in a very strict family, there wasn't much room for honesty and emotions. If we cried it was basically a sign of weakness. Everything surrounding emotions was seen as vulnerability, and therefore weakness, so it was avoided. But I felt a growing need to talk more, feel more, search more. It is awfully hard being young, having to throw yourself into the big wide world with little guidance. I want to talk about sensitive topics, I want to share where I come from and what these problem areas contain from my perspective, since I experienced all this when I was a teenager and still some as a young adult. This is my truth, maybe some of it is yours too. I have learned through my life that vulnerability is the biggest strength there is, being honest about your emotions takes great courage. Hope you start sharing yours too, with someone you trust.

We all live in the past, present and future. We are not one without all. We are not supposed to forget, we are supposed to learn and carry all of ourselves. I often tried to stop myself from thinking about the past, feeling like this is what I should do, because I had a lot of people tell me through the years, forgive and forget is the best medicine. ‘‘Life goes on!’’ I never could relate to the use of that frase and surely I would realize it was not the truth. I have learned to accept some of the things I cannot change, others I will never forget. Neither do I want to forget, accept or forgive. I want to remember who I am, what made me this way and what shaped me, so I carry my child self, my adolescent self with my present self into my future realized self. We hold hands down the valley and carry each other up the mountain. Together, step by step, I become wholer. Walk with me, I say, walk with me, and we will face our truth! 

We have forgotten to see ourselves. There is so much noise around us these days through social media, that oftentimes these become our reflections. It is overwhelmingly easy to think that you are not pretty enough, not fit enough, not smart enough, not hardworking enough, not good enough, not successful enough. More and more seeds of doubt are being sewed, and so the weed grows. Therefore it is all the more important to take the time to truly see yourself in the mirror, symbolically and literally, and look yourself into your own unique eyes and tell yourself exactly what makes you valuable! Because we all get haunted by self doubt sometimes, some people struggle with it chronically, while others have moments of it. When life doesn’t go the way you wanted, it is easy to fixate on others, thus comparing yourself with others, what they have accomplished, their talents, and where they are in their lives, so you may end up wanting to be like them. Then slowly, but surely you lose yourself. The most important thing you can do when you struggle with self doubt, is to understand and acknowledge who you are, by learning from your past and constantly try to transform yourself to your own potential. Every misstep is renewed wisdom. You must never forget and always dare to learn. As a person you consist of the past, present and future. 

We are complicated and dualistic beings. We all carry sorrow and pain, hopes and dreams, we all have darkness and light, so we must learn to carry all of ourselves in a truthful way. Dare to walk into the darkest pits, and meet your beasts. If you soldier on, you will surely reach your dreams. It may not end up exactly like you planned, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not valuable. It’s about the whole journey. We are all meant to walk different paths, because we are all unique, no one is meant to be alike, focus on your own abilities and talents, life is about carrying yourself with love and respect! Be brave, be true. And finally become your own King and Queen!

Are you tired of burying your pain? Are you ready to let the darkness in? It is time to see your gold hidden within darkness!

To all the warrior souls…